1. |
Antisocial Suicide
03:13
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Antidepressants, and all these petty obsessions
It goes from pain to aggression
It's such a manic progression
And so I panic and question
For all these damn imperfections
It's like my soul left my body, so I just hope it's in Heaven
Took a lifetime, all started at eleven
No friends, independent, every second feeling threatened
Still fighting my fight, in a therapy session
All my past indiscretions, my confession in a sentence
I put on like I'm perfect
I know they'll prove me wrong with a verdict
'Cause deep down, I'm hurting, introverted
Disconcerted, close the curtains
I feel like my own archenemy
I wanna run away, lose my identity
Bleeding 'til I reach serenity
I'm the one to blame, but sometimes I pity me
Walking side by side with the darkness in my mind
I've been running from the time, I've been looking for a sign
Always kept myself confined, with my purpose undefined
I'm just trying to stay alive, antisocial suicidal
Lately, the world's got me flailing, frail and ailing
Life goes on, but I'm trailing
Need a lifeline, just to bail me out
I've climbed too high, just to fail me now
Exhale, breathe out, suffocating in bouts
Sing loud, like I'm proud, but I'm still full of doubt
Stand out from the crowd, devout outcast
I've fallen out of bounds, and I can't bounce back
From the kid wearing black, getting beat and laughed at
Getting dragged through the halls, by his green backpack
Eating lunch in the stalls, with a brown paper bag
Read his name on the walls, and he never went back
To a man who's still tied down to the tracks
Still falling through the cracks, still living in the past
Still living on his last breath, mad or depressed
Still sad at his best, heart blasts through his chest
I feel like my own archenemy
I wanna run away, lose my identity
Bleeding 'til I reach serenity
I'm the one to blame, but sometimes I pity me
Walking side by side with the darkness in my mind
I've been running from the time, I've been looking for a sign
Always kept myself confined, with my purpose undefined
I'm just trying to stay alive, antisocial suicidal
In the dirt, six feet deep
Swim to the surface, try to breathe
Got the weight of the world
Trying to drown me in the sea
I'm a sickness, a disease
In a land of make believe
I've been awake for a week
Trying to put these thoughts to sleep
I feel like my own archenemy
I wanna run away, lose my identity
Bleeding 'til I reach serenity
I'm the one to blame, but sometimes I pity me
Walking side by side with the darkness in my mind
I've been running from the time, I've been looking for a sign
Always kept myself confined, with my purpose undefined
I'm just trying to stay alive, antisocial suicidal
(Antisocial suicidal)
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2. |
The Dark Side
02:40
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My head and my heart, they just can't agree
They're tearing me apart by my hands and feet
Pushing, pulling me, I just can't beat them
It's hard to believe, with so many demons
They're speaking in tongues, God, I can't run, damn-
They pushed me to the front, but I can't jump, bam-
Slammed shut, door to the land of the phantoms
Here's the anthem, better stand up
Feels like I'm holding too tight
Sometimes the wrong feels right
Everything goes black in my eyes
Sometimes my heart is on the dark side
So much rage inside, I get filled with anger
Can't drop the anchor, so I'm heading for danger
I'm a freak of nature, turn the page,
Threat straight from minor to major
And I can't contain it
When I'm rolling out of bed, it's like I'm rolling the dice
I'm bipolar in the head, a fire cold as ice
Leave the lies to the liars, I won't trust them twice
I wanna beat their ass back, make them pay the price
But that's why I created this alter ego
When I rap, when I sing, this is not a placebo
It's a real medication, it's my means of meditation
Only source of renovation, that's why I'm so dedicated
'Cause my life is complicated, and I'm feeling suffocated
Agitated, aggravated, everything but motivated
And I'm getting so impatient, seen so many days wasted
So I go back to the basics, it's my final destination
This is not imagination, it's my duty, expectation
Sick of waiting on a payment, to the finish, I'm racing
Feels like I'm holding too tight
Sometimes the wrong feels right
Everything goes black in my eyes
Sometimes my heart is on the dark side
Feels like I'm holding too tight
Sometimes the wrong feels right
Everything goes black in my eyes
Sometimes my heart is on the dark side
If I want it I'll get it
When I said it, I meant it
My mind is haunted, admitted
But I'm still on it, committed
Feels like I'm holding too tight
Sometimes the wrong feels right
Everything goes black in my eyes
Sometimes my heart is on the dark side
Feels like I'm holding too tight
Sometimes the wrong feels right
Everything goes black in my eyes
Sometimes my heart is on the dark side
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3. |
Hit The Floor
02:25
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You want beef? Then you'd better get cooking though
You want smoke? Better lock and load
You ain't drunk? Baby, I've got the antidote
We're gonna party all night until we hit the floor
You want beef? Then you'd better get cooking though
You want smoke? Better lock and load
You ain't drunk? Baby, I've got the antidote
We're gonna party all night until we hit the floor
It's a Broadway night, catch an Uber, hit a dive
Start a Kanye, mic-snatching, Music City fight
Make you cry, Johnny Cash, riders with a fifth of Sky
Chase a Fireball flask with a Tennessee Fire
Get the lights off fast, don't know what you think you saw
Take another shot of Jack, and I'm peeing on the walls
Grab a rag doll hick by his tacky overalls
Take a walk down the hall, kick the bouncer in the balls
Tough guy, wanna fight? We can dance, we can brawl
Peed your pants, you're a joke, just like cops at the mall
Score a keg from the street, make a Jaeger H-bomb
Court date's in a week, throw a rager at the city hall
You want beef? Then you'd better get cooking though
You want smoke? Better lock and load
You ain't drunk? Baby, I've got the antidote
We're gonna party all night until we hit the floor
You want beef? Then you'd better get cooking though
You want smoke? Better lock and load
You ain't drunk? Baby, I've got the antidote
We're gonna party all night until we hit the floor
When the cops show up, I'ma show them how it is
Middle finger in the air, that's my third little pig
'Cause I'm sick, I'm a prick, yeah it's me, take a pic
Disappear, like a trick, where'd he go? He's too quick
Skate around downtown with my pants on the ground
Kick me out, party foul! I'm a menace on the prowl
Can't hear you Mr. Officer, the crowd's too loud
So put your hands up now, yeah you know what's going down
We're already sipping whiskey before the party begins
Acting silly, getting dizzy, yeah I've got the spins
All you sissies getting pissy, get the violin
Or get knocked upside the head with a bottle of gin
You want beef? Then you'd better get cooking though
You want smoke? Better lock and load
You ain't drunk? Baby, I've got the antidote
We're gonna party all night until we hit the floor
You want beef? Then you'd better get cooking though
You want smoke? Better lock and load
You ain't drunk? Baby, I've got the antidote
We're gonna party all night until we hit the floor
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4. |
Ghost in the Mirror
03:08
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I spent so many days trapped inside my head
In my mind, thoughts racing, lie awake in my bed
With the way they kept saying I was better off dead
I said it again and again, never forget it
I kept asking these questions
The answers in my hands, I took for granted
I'm finally understanding, and damn it
It's time to man up and handle it
Like the man that I am, or at least supposed to be
But I don't know...
I don't know what I believe
It's like I don't feel anything
This isn't you, this isn't me
It's just the ghost inside the mirror
And I never thought I'd be the one to cut so deep
When I see you like this, I get so weak
I hope one day it'll all be clearer
'Cause I don't wanna be like the ghost in the mirror
I don't wanna be like the ghost in the mirror
I don't wanna be...
Like the side of me that lies, always hiding, living so blind
The side that makes you cry
I can't even look you in the eyes
'Cause the side of me that's dying keeps denying the truth
I'm picking the pieces up, I'm trying to fight my underlying issues
And I miss you, like I miss being young and so reckless with you
Together, we loved ourselves, but then my self obsession hit you
Now I look at my reflection and say I hate you
Even God wouldn't save you
This is not the way I made you
I don't know what I believe
It's like I don't feel anything
This isn't you, this isn't me
It's just the ghost inside the mirror
And I never thought I'd be the one to cut so deep
When I see you like this, I get so weak
I hope one day it'll all be clearer
'Cause I don't wanna be like the ghost in the mirror
I don't wanna be like the ghost in the mirror
I don't know how I got to be so selfish, so conceited
Yet so helpless and defeated
My weakness is that I relish in my past
My secrets are unmasked
The sequel of contrast
I'm leaving, ain't going back to that
I've got both my feet back on the ground
So this time, I won't let you down
I don't know what I believe
It's like I don't feel anything
This isn't you, this isn't me
It's just the ghost inside the mirror
And I never thought I'd be the one to cut so deep
When I see you like this, I get so weak
I hope one day it'll all be clearer
'Cause I don't wanna be like the ghost in the mirror
I don't wanna be like the ghost in the mirror
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5. |
Lost Soul
03:53
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It's another day, another chance to blow this world away
Put my pencil to the page and that's my only way to make a change
Play this game, 'til I escape this disarray
This is fate, I can't hesitate, no time to contemplate
People say that I'm not worthy, I should just keep on running
Tell the child inside me dreaming, kept on pushing and shoving
Dreading every day at school, getting his ass kicked for nothing
I won't leave him behind, so you wolves keep huffing and puffing
I saw a ghost
All alone
Had a home, now there's nowhere to go
He told me, don't leave a word untold
Pay your toll, it's a one way road
I'm not gonna be a lost soul
I'm not gonna be a lost soul
I'm not gonna be a lost soul
Voices calling out at me in every direction
All the noises get inside me like a verbal infection
I can barely express it, but now I'm learning my lesson
You need sticks and stones for breaking bones, and I'm no exception
What a better way to repay you, than stay true?
I told you I'd break through, now I'm gonna break you
All you fools laughing, smacking me around
Back when we were in grade school
Cracking jokes about me, like you're so cool
Now you're locked up in your parents'
Bathroom, sniffing glue like a vacuum
Mommy's getting mad at you, she knows you're a coward too
It's been a long time, but it stuck like a tattoo
Now I've got no choice but to make my move
I saw a ghost
All alone
Had a home, now there's nowhere to go
He told me, don't leave a word untold
Pay your toll, it's a one way road
I'm not gonna be a lost soul
I'm not gonna be a lost soul
When I'm dead, I don't wanna be gone
I wanna see you kids singing all of my songs
Don't wanna be forgotten, it's been far too long
I wanna see you misfit kids singing life goes on
I saw a ghost
All alone
Had a home, now there's nowhere to go
He told me, don't leave a word untold
Pay your toll, it's a one way road
I'm not gonna be a lost soul
I'm not gonna be a lost soul
I'm not gonna be a lost soul
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Subcon Nashville, Tennessee
Subcon (Brandon Ingram) is a genre-bending artist, songwriter, producer, and multi-instrumentalist from Nashville, Tennessee. Growing up loyal to the pop punk and metalcore music scenes and playing in several bands, he began producing music of his own in 2018, which manifested as a blend of pop punk, hip hop, metalcore, alternative, and rapcore. ... more
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